Ho hum...Compliments

So this week I read a really great article about accepting compliments, and it really stuck with me. And as my coworker just showed me a scarf she's knitting, she mentioned that she couldn't rightfully say if it is ugly or not...since she always judges her own stuff more harshly than she would someone else's. I totally get that- and I think most people do.

Sometimes it's really hard to believe the good things other people say about you. Speaking from my own experience, I think I have a pretty good grasp on what my good qualities are and are not. And for someone to pay me a compliment related to something I don't classify as "good", I have a hard time believing it. I automatically become self-conscious, and deny the compliment.... at the same time questioning their motive in my head (because they couldn't possibly sincerely think that!)

For example... I believe I'm good with people. I believe I can be funnyish. Kids, dogs, and I all generally get along. But I don't believe I'm a great singer, I don't think I'm all that attractive (well, I'll say "good-looking"... because attractive is different), and I don't reeeally know what I'm doing when I dance (shhh...don't tell anybody).

Now, two of those three things I still do with reckless abandon (because I freaking love singing and dancing), and the other...well, I deal with that...ha. But when someone contradicts me and tells me "hey, you're a good singer" or "hey, you can really dance" or (and this is the hardest) "hey, you're cute".... well, I just can't believe it.

There are probably a million various reasons for WHY I can't believe those statements. I'm sure they all stem from one of my many ridiculous insecurities. But that's not really the point of this little blog entry. The point is that I've been thinking about it a lot over the last few days, and I realize the importance of just accepting those compliments and trying as hard as you can in your heart to believe them.

Someone who is willing to put enough of theirself on the line by going out on a limb to pay you a compliment (whether it be big or small), runs the risk of being hurt when you don't put enough faith in their opinion to believe them. And in a relationship (whether friend or romance), hurting someone who is only showing you kindness is the opposite of productive...obviously...ha.

And also- the people who compliment you (I realized), might be better able to see the good in you than you yourself. As my coworker said about her knitting, we're all our own worst critic and it's impossible to see ourselves clearly.

At my good friend Betsy's bridal shower this past weekend (I'm her man of honor...isn't that soo fun!?), we played a little game where we each wrote a piece of marriage advice on a notecard for her and she had to choose the best and the worst.

With what has been on my mind, I wrote:
"Always believe the compliments he gives you, even if it's hard, because he can see the beauty in you even when you can't. (And you're so full of it that he should compliment you often)"

My advice won "best advice" so it must be true, right? So now it's time to work on that myself. :)